Saturday afternoon. I was one click away, the finger hovering over the touch pad, the little arrow hovering over the “click here” button to upgrade the Dish satellite service from the Family plan three levels up to the 250 rainbow of variety, enrichment….everything we ever needed or wanted. One level up, even two levels upgraded, do not include Foxnews. Call me biased. I like Foxnews, I trust Foxnews to be as balanced as they say. Heck, an outside-the-conservative-world public interest group tallied the time spent left vs right and declared Foxnews is literally, 50-50, almost down to the minute, balanced between liberal and conservative. It’s that 50% on the left that sends me over the proverbial edge, but just before the veins pop on the forehead, I know I’m going to hear at least 50% common sense and reason soon, unlike CNN of which we get only the Headline News but don’t turn to that anyway for obvious reasons, one of which is that journalism has morphed from objective to manipulative.
That said, the only way I am going to see Monk and The Closer without buying DVD sets is to subscribe to a package that includes USA and TNT. Family does not have those two or A&E or Discover or History or Spike (you read correctly–CSI reruns), SciFi, TLC, National Geographic, need I go on? Family has Hallmark. I’m sick of Hallmark. We surf between Hallmark Movie Channel, Hallmark, Foxnews, Daystar — I need Daystar, the locals, and that’s about it. We don’t watch shopping channels and there are many. There are a couple of detective and forensic choices but do a lot of rerunning. So does Hallmark.
The programs we do watch are single words, some single syllables, and the acronym — CSI. I’ll watch CSI-Anything. Those we plan our time around are CSI, 24, House, Bones, and the new kid, Fringe. Ex-X-Files fans, Fringe satifies the sci-fi itch. Our one sitcom is Worst Week. Love it. Boston Legal is gone.
I miss Monk.
So wouldn’t you know the church leadership is encouraging us to unplug the TV, the MP3 which I don’t know how to use beyond my FM station, the IPOD which I don’t have, the cell phone on which no one calls, and the computer which I do have and use for research and curiosity, for Imdb stats during the movies the church leadership is encouraging me to leave on the shelf, for … I just love to type and click. Click. And type. Love it.
I need meds.
The unplug theory actually fits in with my New Year’s monolog of the ToDo list. We wanted to read more which meant that to get the yarn projects rolling, Honey has read aloud, not during commercials which is when I used to do my homework in high school, but with the tube off. Except for Fringe, Bones, House, 24, etc.
Maybe tomorrow either before or after Criminal Minds and CSI: New York. Oh, there I go again. How about Friday? There’s basically nothing on. Particularly on the Family package. Or… is the idea to sacrifice? Is Barak the first post-American president of the new USSA? The answers are obvious.
In a sincere effort to take that dramatic first step, I just shut off the TV. Never mind that I wasn’t interested in what was on, nothing else was on, I’m typing anyway, it’s 10pm, Honey is crashing and won’t be reading, and I have to get some sleep as I need to get in to work early tomorrow. But it’s a start.
This isn’t easy for a person who was introduced to the exciting world of television at the age of 3, to a medium that swept the world, a person who’s first friend was Howdy Doody.
I wonder, if I had all the hours back I’ve spent in front of the television, living in a world of someone else’s pretense, how long would I have to live to use them?