At Home for a while

On Friday I was told my position was being dissolved and disbursed, that I was relieved of any further responsibility.

I have categorized this post as God Things because nothing happens without his authorization.  Friends and acquaintences assure me that He has something better right around the corner.  They fail to specify which corner or exactly how they acquired this information.

Yes, I am down.  I suddenly lack faith.  I am emotionally mauled, humiliated, embarrassed.  Tears come and go.  The worst part of the day is waking up and hearing it all fill my head again.  The thought of going through the application and interview process at my age gives me a sharp stomach ache.  I need to heal first before I sit through an interview unable to shield the emotions in my eyes.

Platitudes fall flat.  Caringly delivered scripture, meant to comfort, causes me to force a smile, say thanks, and exit the conversation as soon as possible.  I do appreciate the love but I need to hear something from God in the quiet.  I’m sure He’ll inform me of what needs to change.  Until He does, I prefer to abstain from analysis and wait until hindsight is 20/20.

In the meantime, I covet your prayers. 


6 thoughts on “At Home for a while

  1. I am sorry to hear this. Being a new reader to my blog you may not be aware of it, but I went through this last year.

    It’s not fun, and it is going to take your focus and committment, but if your experience is anything like mine you will learn about yourself. You’ll discover your resiliency, your focus, talents you didn’t know you had, the love of your friends, and the kindness of strangers.

    I don’t know your financial position so I hesistate to be too pollyanish, but for me the experience was a gift. A gift that allowed me to know myself better, and a gift to spend time with family and friends. A gift to reflect on life. I won’t say it was all wonderful, there were some tough days, but in the end it was a good experience.

    I trully believe God gives us challenges to help us move on in our journey and take risks that perhaps we wouldn’t have taken. Embrace the challenge, enjoy your gift. Take a few days to rest and then get out there and kick butt.

    All the way remember that keeping balance between searching and having fun is critical.

    Good luck, I’ll pray for you.

  2. I followed Pursuit over here becaues I’m convinced he’s a spy. Still, I second his motion. I went thoruhg sudden and difficult unemployment, and it seems to me that there are two keys.

    First, don’t let the situation wreck your self-esteem. you’re more than your job. And second, approach it as an opportunity. Most people aren’t really happy in their jobs. They like the people and they’re comfortable, but they’re not really happy. This is an apportunity to find your dream job. It took me more than a year to find mine. I’m still digging out of a financial hole. But I changed my careeer and love what I do every single day. Also, I appreciate getting paid. Whoa, do I appreciate getting paid.

    Stay in touch, if you like.

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