On Friday I was told my position was being dissolved and disbursed, that I was relieved of any further responsibility.
I have categorized this post as God Things because nothing happens without his authorization. Friends and acquaintences assure me that He has something better right around the corner. They fail to specify which corner or exactly how they acquired this information.
Yes, I am down. I suddenly lack faith. I am emotionally mauled, humiliated, embarrassed. Tears come and go. The worst part of the day is waking up and hearing it all fill my head again. The thought of going through the application and interview process at my age gives me a sharp stomach ache. I need to heal first before I sit through an interview unable to shield the emotions in my eyes.
Platitudes fall flat. Caringly delivered scripture, meant to comfort, causes me to force a smile, say thanks, and exit the conversation as soon as possible. I do appreciate the love but I need to hear something from God in the quiet. I’m sure He’ll inform me of what needs to change. Until He does, I prefer to abstain from analysis and wait until hindsight is 20/20.
In the meantime, I covet your prayers.